Day 1 (EePin)

So the Doc told me to do this. It helps, she says, with organising your thoughts. And all that baloney. Well here I am. Writing in a stupid book for her reading pleasure. To battle insomnia. Laughable. I earn a six digit salary, live in the swankiest apartment in Melbourne, and have all the toys a man could ever want.

And I can’t fucking sleep.

Jordan says I don’t like my job, six figures or not. He’s right in a way. I never saw my future living like this. My parents wanted me to be a doctor. Typical Asian mentality. Normal.

Ordinary.

I didn’t want ordinary. I wanted the world. Oh I did the dutiful thing, studied medicine in the University they picked, worked on the exams, tried my best to be the responsible one. But it was all so... boring. I quit on the fourth year. Left the class, threw my books in the trash, walked out and never looked back.

You should have heard the shouting back in the house.

I left home and joined the Army. I wanted to see the world. I was out there for ten years.

I will tell you this. The world is a fucked up place. And unkind. The things I’ve seen. The things I’ve done. Unforgivable things maybe. I had enough. Quit the service and came back to Melbourne. In a bid to reconnect with this world I had left behind, I met up with my old uni-mate Jordan, who worked with this company called the Grey Area Protective Services, or GAPS.  He explained how the job involved simple bodyguarding duties, things that someone of my experience could do. More importantly, he said I had brains, and I would rise up the ranks very quickly.

Rise I did, after joining GAPS. What I believed would be a quick stint for money, well, this is my third year here now. Got a squad of my own. Mates I can count on. Six-figure pay. Everything I can buy and more. All I have to do is protect people.

And kill people. Ah fuck, he was just a kid. With a wooden gun.

Doc says it’s not my fault in that mission. Well, she wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger. I described to her what a shotgun round does to a body from three metres away. She didn’t seem too happy about that.

Fuck. His eyes. They didn’t close when he fell. I dream those eyes.

Those eyes and more.

Lookee here Doc, the sun’s up. Brilliant idea.